Sunday, April 6, 2025

Girthy and Green

 Some original content! Yay! 

This well-crafted phallic topiary graces an apartment building in Guelph's Willow Road neighborhood.  Standing tall and proud, with two bulbous attachments at the base, it's a marvel of design.



And it has several colleagues as well, though none are as tall and erect as this one.

Thursday, April 3, 2025

Ample Appendage in Amherstberg

A house in Amherstberg Ontario displayed an impressively-sized (1.2m = 4 ft) concrete phallus on the front lawn this week.


In an interview, Michael Prue, the Mayor of Amherstburg, told CTV News the municipality lacks the powers to demand the statue be removed.

“There is nothing illegal about it at this point,” Prue said.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/windsor/article/why-an-offensive-lawn-display-is-drawing-attention-in-amherstburg/

The complaining resident actually offered a surprisingly reasonable compromise, which is unlikely to satisfy the organ-obsessed homeowner: 

Fearing the often-lengthy process to introduce a new municipal by-law, Carney has an alternative compromise.

“Lay it flat. It’s like a patio stone,” she pitched. “They could lay it on the ground and still have it in their yard, and it wouldn’t be upsetting people in the community.”

Monday, November 27, 2023

Skatepark Schlongs

Ah the skate park; a place to skin your knees, bruise your taint, and put graffiti on everything.



1. Poor Pikachu!  So violated 😲

2. This series of cocknballs got progressively more and more abstract until it could almost have been a pair of glasses, a mosquito's face, or an upside down "Kilroy was here".  I feel like they're a parallel to the development of written lettering from pictograms to a few lines slashed on a tablet...

Friday, May 5, 2023

God Save the King (of Dicks)

 


Looks like some Welsh pranksters have got an issue with the monarchy... this substantial phallus was mowed into the lawn of the Royal Crescent in Bath, England, just days before a big coronation party!

[The event's] flyer says: ''Celebrate the 300th anniversary of the Georgian era. Decorate your own regal crown, watch demonstrations on royal fashion and visit the Georgian Cook cooking up delicious recipes in the kitchen.'' ... and apparently feast your eyes on a dong as big as Big Ben ringing. There's no holding a bobby's helmet over THAT.

Monday, February 20, 2023

Priapic poetry

"Sometimes u dance w tears in ur eyes"... Tears of joy from finally finding a worthwhile local SPOG to post:


🍆💕

Friday, November 4, 2022

Airborne Refueling Penis

Giving Vladimir Putin the ol' one-eyed salute:



"A KC-135 Stratotanker refueling plane remained for almost two hours east of Cyprus on Tuesday, in front of the Syrian base of Tartus, a stronghold of Moscow."

https://twitter.com/Maks_NAFO_FELLA/status/1587858072021921793?s=20


And bonus points for mildly phallic refueling probe:



Monday, September 5, 2022

Big Wet Dick

 

And now over to Damon with the weather.  Might want to cancel your picnics, folks.

Monday, May 24, 2021

Dinosaurian dick

 Body found inside Spanish Stegosaurus statue

 "Spanish police are investigating the death of a 39-year-old man whose body was found inside a dinosaur statue."


Of course, this blog has one focus, and that focus is not police investigation, no matter how tragic an event may be.  And a keen-eyed Redditor noticed this detail on a Bolivian news photo of the papier-mache Stegosaur in question:


.

Yup.  There it is.  Even this magnificent Jurassic specimen is not immune from being defiled with penis graffiti...

Friday, April 16, 2021

Meat spin


My kids correctly deduced that this piece of graffiti on local play equipment was something indecent. However, in their thankful innocence, they concluded that it was, and I quote, "poo coming out of a butt".  I did not correct them. 😆😆😆

Friday, March 26, 2021

Sailor's Delight

 I've covered some BIG sidewalk penises on this blog, but this is possibly the biggest, not to mention the most newsworthy, courtesy of the notoriously stuck mega-freighter Ever Given.


https://twitter.com/Jeremy_Baker/status/1374827226487656449



Friday, December 18, 2020

PEI Political Penis

 Google Maps gives bird's eye view of phallic field on P.E.I.

"Jamie Rix cut part of an overgrown soybean field into the shape of a 243-metre penis, now captured on Google Maps in all its glory...  He said the image is partly a statement of protest, more against the federal government which is why he pointed it west toward Ottawa."

Anne of Green Gables would be appalled, and God forbid if Marilla ever found out about it...

Friday, August 30, 2019

Giant SPOG

You really can't make this up...

"Volunteers polish giant’s erection by hand"

Embargoed to 0001 Thursday August 29 Volunteers work to repair and refresh the Cerne Abbas Giant in Dorset, where people are working with the National Trust to re-chalk the giant figure that is thought to have been on the hillside since the 17th century and will be renovated by hand by dozens of volunteers over the next two weeks since its last refresh in 2008. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Wednesday August 28, 2019. See PA story HERITAGE Giant. Photo credit should read: Ben Birchall/PA Wire
"Dozens of volunteers will be working on sprucing up the giant"



Embargoed to 0001 Thursday August 29 Volunteers work near the genitals as they refresh the Cerne Abbas Giant in Dorset, where people are working with the National Trust to re-chalk the giant figure that is thought to have been on the hillside since the 17th century and will be renovated by hand by dozens of volunteers over the next two weeks since its last refresh in 2008. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Wednesday August 28, 2019. See PA story HERITAGE Giant. Photo credit should read: Ben Birchall/PA Wire

"Volunteers work on the Cerne Abbas Giant’s shaft and balls"

Metro News is hardly the Times, but this story takes a lot of  journalistic opportunities to make dick puns, even by tabloid standards XD

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

HOA Penis



From "Driving" magazine: Honda owners fined by HOA because car left suggestive shape in parking lot

To be fair, to this perverted eye it IS pretty suggestive of a giant, automobile-sized penis:




... but the biggest dick in the story is still the HOA who see a thick, turgid SPOG where many others would just see the vague outline of a car.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Tabarnak! C'est gros!

Ooh la la, c'est "un énorme sexe masculin dans la neige"!  At the Telus stadium in Montreal!  Oh those Quebecois...

No wonder the Americans use "football field" as a standard measure of length.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

How big is it when it's warm?!

Gothenburg, Sweden may now take the prize for largest cock-and-balls graffiti to date...

That's not so impressive...

Whoa Nelly!

The Swedes are more reserved than one would think, but it seems their civic spirit "extends" to enjoying a good SPOG (Snow Penis of Gothenburg) when it "pops up".

Friday, September 11, 2015

West Coast Penis


I spotted this complex graffito on the side of the English Bay Hotel in Vancouver. Lesson: dont cover up an obviously cock-&-balls-shaped drawing with an exactly cock-&-balls-shaped paint job, or someone will add a few details to make your cover-up into a new cock & balls.

Monday, June 2, 2014

The Bird is the Word


This unusual avian specimen was spotted near the children's splash pad in Sunny Acres Park.  I'd say "Won't someone think of the children?!"... but it was probably an eleven-year-old who drew this.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Topiary penis in the news

 

According to metronews.ca, the city parks director himself was quoted as saying “Whoever the individual was is quite talented, to be honest,”

I even managed to figure out where this happened from viewing news photos...



View Larger Map