Sidewalk Penises of Guelph

Friday, April 16, 2021

Meat spin

My kids correctly deduced that this piece of graffiti on local play equipment was something indecent. However, in their thankful innocence, they concluded that it was, and I quote, "poo coming out of a butt". I did not correct them. 😆😆😆

Friday, March 26, 2021

Sailor's Delight

I've covered some BIG sidewalk penises on this blog, but this is possibly the biggest, not to mention the most newsworthy, courtesy of the notoriously stuck mega-freighter Ever Given.

https://twitter.com/Jeremy_Baker/status/1374827226487656449

Friday, December 18, 2020

PEI Political Penis

Google Maps gives bird's eye view of phallic field on P.E.I.

"Jamie Rix cut part of an overgrown soybean field into the shape of a 243-metre penis, now captured on Google Maps in all its glory... He said the image is partly a statement of protest, more against the federal government which is why he pointed it west toward Ottawa."

Anne of Green Gables would be appalled, and God forbid if Marilla ever found out about it...

Thursday, December 3, 2020

German engineering

And here people were talking about the mysterious metal monolith in the Utah desert...

"Just days after a large phallus sculpture mysteriously disappeared from a Bavarian mountainside, a similar wooden carving has appeared in its place, German news agency dpa reported Thursday."

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

San Francisco Treat

Seen on a favourite author's Instagram:

Pretty much sums it up.

Friday, August 30, 2019

Giant SPOG

You really can't make this up...

"Volunteers polish giant’s erection by hand"

Embargoed to 0001 Thursday August 29 Volunteers work to repair and refresh the Cerne Abbas Giant in Dorset, where people are working with the National Trust to re-chalk the giant figure that is thought to have been on the hillside since the 17th century and will be renovated by hand by dozens of volunteers over the next two weeks since its last refresh in 2008. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Wednesday August 28, 2019. See PA story HERITAGE Giant. Photo credit should read: Ben Birchall/PA Wire

"Dozens of volunteers will be working on sprucing up the giant"

Embargoed to 0001 Thursday August 29 Volunteers work near the genitals as they refresh the Cerne Abbas Giant in Dorset, where people are working with the National Trust to re-chalk the giant figure that is thought to have been on the hillside since the 17th century and will be renovated by hand by dozens of volunteers over the next two weeks since its last refresh in 2008. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Wednesday August 28, 2019. See PA story HERITAGE Giant. Photo credit should read: Ben Birchall/PA Wire

"Volunteers work on the Cerne Abbas Giant’s shaft and balls"

Metro News is hardly the Times, but this story takes a lot of journalistic opportunities to make dick puns, even by tabloid standards XD

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

HOA Penis

From "Driving" magazine: Honda owners fined by HOA because car left suggestive shape in parking lot

To be fair, to this perverted eye it IS pretty suggestive of a giant, automobile-sized penis:

... but the biggest dick in the story is still the HOA who see a thick, turgid SPOG where many others would just see the vague outline of a car.